"WOULD YOU BELIEVE…?”

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One may 'want to believe' this is so, but in reality, buying a new phone may be an arduous process, second only to purchasing a new car. One might expect to lose at least a day out of one's life in such a procurement quest, especially if one wishes to undertake a ‘truth is out there’ approach. Ultimately, within a week of purchasing a new phone you’ll forget where you left it. Of course, misplaced phones are usually in the ’silent’ mode.  In the good old days, you just had to untie your shoelaces to locate and utilize your SMART phone.

From personal experience it is known that attempting to purchase a new phone during the holiday promotions is pure KAOS. Frustration and disappointment are to be expected. Misleading claims like "we will accept any old phone as a trade in", and/or “get a free phone”, can’t easily be debunked on-line. In store interrogations and the discovery of agent only known special promotions call one and all to the phone store. Despite what is claimed, porting over an existing phone number, key information/data and applications is far from hitch-less. Something usually goes wrong, and then a KAOS agent is ironically needed.

Once one makes such a store pilgrimage it is soon discovered that you will be queued up in a waiting line comprised in part, by geezers (like the RR Reporters) and others that see this phone store excursion purely as an outing, or a safari unbounded by time. They may have no idea what they are hunting for (brand, screen size/type, memory, etc.), or what will be needed to actually bag a new phone (such as information about their current phone). This lack of knowledge works well for the phone and service sellers, but creates a painfully tedious experience for the other phone hunters. One might spend an hour waiting in a line of two customers. If one is particularly unlucky you will have a ‘Cone of Silence’ experience where everyone in the store can better hear a phone conversation between the casual phone hunter and their spouse or knowledgeable loved one that was smart and stayed far, far away from any phone store. 

Intentionally, this waiting time tenderizes even the most prepared phone buyer to believe that taking out a loan (even zero interest) is better than buying a phone outright.  After all, ones' $35 old phone can only be worth $1000 if you bind yourself to the service provider for the next 3 years. More likely you’ll learn that you don’t quite qualify for advertised holiday promotion due to the ‘fine print'.  If there’s any consolation in being disqualified it is that you only “missed it by that much”.    

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Two historic TV series (and later movies) were Get Smart and The X Files. While not as influential as the TV series M*A*S*H (as a critic of US wars after 1945), both of these shows creatively spoofed international and domestic ‘intelligence’ agencies. In Get Smart this humorous lambasting was done under the agency pseudonyms of CONTROL & KAOS. Agent 86 was the antithesis of James Bond, 007. Click or tap this link or the picture of Agents 86 and 99 to see a compilation of best episodes. 

Today one might wonder if CONTROL & KAOS are really spoofs, and which of our current intelligence agencies, if any, is competent and trustworthy.

Society and today’s culture eschew a belief that all are sinful but still so loved by a creator.  Yet many individuals are needful to ‘want to believe’ in something, from UFOs (now UAPs which stands for "unidentified anomalous phenomena”) to far more improbable propositions. Maybe new and some former believers have merely redirected their focus and faith. A few of these new social beliefs require a loyalty that is only superseded by fanaticism.    

Imagine Agent #86, or to make this more contemporary, a Karine Jean-Pierre or an Alejandro Mayorkas* asking the following “Would you believe…” questions.

Would you believe:

1. The US is really doing well economically (even though the National Debt is ~$34T and Personal Debt is at record highs)?
2. The US southern border is secure, and that the millions of illegal immigrants are primarily mothers with their minor children seeking qualified asylum?
3. The US has promising leadership options (even with the old and epically narcissistic Republican and Democratic contenders that are the current front runners) for president in 2024?

It is both surprising and sad that so many “Want to Believe” some or all of the preceding, regardless the obvious incongruity with empirical evidence and common sense. It’s more about loyalty, don’t we all know. The political gas-lighting (an overused term; "Sorry about that Chief”) from liberals, and conservatives as well, in 2024 will be daunting and depressing. 

In refreshing contrast, KAOS agents when asked “Would you believe…" questions by Agent #86, would predictively and derisively dismiss such a gullible belief with a “NO".  

* Apologies to Agent #86 for this comparison, as his claims were far more funny and believable.